Me and the Blondes -Teresa Toten(Post 4)

For this blog post, I wrote a spoken word poem called "The Lonesome's Story." The poem describes the thoughts running through one's head when they are affected by alienation. It demonstrates how being alone feels, despite having a social life, and how the mask of feelings one has on display for everyone else to see breaks when they are alone. Feeling like an outcast deprives one of the happiness they deserve completely, leaving them no choice but to please others around them to fill their emptiness. I chose to write a spoken word poem because writing has been a coping method for me whenever I concealed my emotions. After reading about Sophia's struggle to fit in and her ways of dealing with loneliness through suppressing her emotions, I was able to make many connections to this issue, which is prominent in our own schools and society. I was able to understand Sophia's character extremely well, due to mine and my friends' past experiences. For example: in Grade 6, I did not socialize much and remained to myself, as I did not know anyone, and was afraid of how others would react to things I say or the ideas I have. I wanted to come out of that shell, which sometimes led me to hide my true feelings, so others would accept me.

Sophia lets the reader know about her troubles and discomfort several times in the book. For example: when her mother was crying after talking to Sophia's father, Sophia let the reader know that "fear takes up a lot of room...in [her] head" (Toten 162), because she cannot let others know about her familial background, specifically her father. The poem below can be referred to as the diary of Sophia Kandinsky, as it demonstrates how one's true identity can be hid, without anyone noticing, and how it affects them. 

Confined by her own thoughts and struggles,

She can't speak to let her demons out.

Her days are filled with constant fear,

The fear of others finding out.

She appears strong, and brave like knight,

But this is a battle she has already lost.

She only lets it show when she is alone

And endures the biting pain it caused.

What is it about eating her words?

"I can't let them see," she says.

Each tear that falls from her eyes 

Is the only thing she feels inside,

unseen to all the others

She lives in a home, with family and friends

But inside herself, there is no peace.

There are only tremors, and worries of the days,

the darkness wins over any light she sees.